HOW MANY WISCONSIN COLLEGE STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT
BULB?

       At Marquette, it takes two. One to change the bulb and one to explain
how they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.

       At UW-Oshkosh, it takes three. One to change the bulb and two to
phone a friend at UW Green Bay to get instructions.

       At UW-Madison, it takes five. One to screw in the bulb and four to
figure out how to get high off the old one.

       At UW-Eau Claire, it takes six. One to change it, two to mix drinks
and three to find the perfect "J.Crew" outfit to wear for the occasion.

       At UW-Stevens Point, it takes seven and each one gets four credit
hours for it.

       At UW-Stout, it takes eight. One to change it and 7 to bitch about
how they wouldn't have gone to Eau Claire even if they could have gotten in.

       At UW-Whitewater, it takes ten. One to figure out how to screw it in,
nine to find an ugly enough lampshade to match their school colors.

       At St Norbert, it takes none. They don't screw.

       At UW-Parkside, none. All the students live at home so mommy and
daddy change the light bulbs.

       At Ripon, it takes 3, one to change the light bulb and 2 to get
behind him when he drops it and has to bend over.

       At UW-La Crosse, it takes 1, but it takes him 6 years.

       At UW-Platteville, it takes 5. One to change the light bulb and 4 to
hold the sheep still while he's on the ladder.

       At Superior, none- Superior doesn't have electricity yet.

       At Carthage, it takes 1, he just holds the bulb and waits for the
world to revolve around him.

       At UW-Milwaukee, none, UWM looks better in the dark.